I had some fabulous meals and some not-so-fabulous ones. Waitstaff ranged from the most attentive and courteous to the downright rude. There was one restaurant, though, that deserves special mention — due to their combination of superior customer service and fabulous food.

The restaurant is in the town of East Greenwich, RI. It’s a little Thai place, called Herbs and Spices. The ingredients were incredibly fresh, and I had a fabulous lunch.

But I’m getting ahead of of myself.

I have some crazy food allergies, and the craziest is an allergy to soy.  This often makes dining out somewhat of a challenge.

I love curry and I really love mangoes, so I was intrigued to try their signature dish of mango curry.  I don’t usually have issues with Thai curry, so I ordered with confidence and didn’t question whether there was soy in the dish.

The waitress (to whom I had mentioned my allergy upon arrival) went back to the kitchen, and took it upon herself to  examine every ingredient the chef would use!  She returned to the table carrying two unopened cans of curry paste – one yellow and one red.  She noted that the yellow paste appeared to have soy in it, whereas the red paste did not.  She offered to have the chef substitute red curry paste for the yellow, which I gratefully accepted.

All I can say on so many levels is, “wow!”  What great customer service!  It was a great catch on her part, and I learned something new about red and yellow curries.  As for the dish itself?  It was absolutely the best Thai curry I have eaten in recent memory.

If I were an official restaurant reviewer, I’d give Herbs and Spices five stars.  I can’t think of another thing they could have done to make our dining experience more pleasant.  I definitely plan to return for another meal the next time I visit RI. 

I started by doing some Internet research and watching how-to videos on You-Tube. Armed with my new-found knowledge, I headed to the local mega-hardware store to get supplies.

Unfortunately, the shelves were lined with products that looked nothing like what the guys in the YouTube videos used! I read label after label, and finally tracked down an employee to show me the unsanded grout. I explained that I’d be tiling a shower stall. He pulled a container of pre-mixed grout from the shelf, and sent me on my way.

When I got home, and began applying the grout, it appeared to be gritty. It wouldn’t squeeze into the tiny cracks between the tiles no matter how hard I tried. It slowly dawned on me that I had gotten sanded grout rather than unsanded (the package, strangely, was not labeled).

After realizing the project was not going as planned (and after noticing that part of my wall had a distinctly southwestern look to it), I began the tedious process of removing the sanded grout that I had just attempted to apply. It had dried quickly, so the process involved a lot of washing and scraping of gritty gunk into the bathtub. After rinsing the tub, a layer of brown sand remained.

The next day I returned to the hardware store and explained my problem to the clerk. She suggested I go find the correct product for an even exchange. After much label-reading, it became obvious that they didn’t carry pre-mixed unsanded grout. I’d have to mix my own. I grabbed a box of unsanded grout powder ($2 more expensive than my original purchase), and returned to the register.

I was surprised when the clerk said it would still be an even exchange! She noted, “We sold you the wrong thing in the first place. And honestly, you were the calmest I’ve ever seen anyone in this situation. Usually people come storming in here demanding to see a manager.”

Really?

I had been so impressed by how nicely she was treating me that I never stopped to think about why. It turns out that she was responding to how nice *I* was being. She had expected me to be upset, and was pleasantly surprised when I explained my messy evening with bemusement, rather than anger.

So, while I was a little disappointed that my bathroom did not get re-grouted last week, the process helped me re-learn a neat little lesson. People generally are good, and they want to help us out. If we treat them with kindness and respect, they will bend over backwards to help us succeed.

I actually lived in Durham in the late ’80s, and still have many friends there, so I padded my visit with a few planned reunions: with an old friend, with a former sister-in-law and family, and with a former co-worker.

It was a fabulous weekend on so many levels. With the adults, nothing had changed with respect to our connections and the ways we inter-related. It was like stepping back in time, except the hairs were a little grayer and the faces were more deeply lined. Because of the time lapse, none of the older children really remembered me, and the younger ones were meeting me for the first time.

Most of the kids acted as children do — hanging out with friends, reading, playing on the computer, and occasionally demanding their parents’ attention. But my former niece and nephew (who were a quite young when I last saw them, and knew me only from old pictures) sat quietly with us during my entire visit.

It made me feel quite special indeed that a teenager and an 11-year-old would take time out of their busy day to hang out with the “grown-ups.” When I mentioned it later, their mom noted that she suspected they were curious about their family history. I guess that makes sense, as I was married to their uncle for two years, and had visited the hospital when the eldest was born.

Even still — I was impressed by their manners. And I left there feeling really touched.

That is the premise of The Hunger Site, which was started in 1999 to put the power of the Internet to good use — towards the elimination of world hunger.

The premise is simple. Visitors to the site click a button, and with each click, sponsors will pay for food for the hungry throughout the world. An average of 220,000 visitors click on any given day, and since the program began, more than 300 million cups of staple food have been donated!

The program expanded in 2001 and now includes opportunities to click to provide healthcare for children, funding for protecting the rainforests, and support for many other charitable causes. From The Hunger Site, simply click the tabs along the top of the page to access the click buttons for the other programs.

This Thanksgiving, and every day, take a minute to do your part to help those less fortunate. Every click makes a difference.

Why is it that “kind” people often seem to be happy? Is it simply that happy people are kind by nature, or does performing kind deeds lead to happiness?

I did a little research and learned that there is a well-documented “helpers high,” characterized by an initial euphoria followed by a prolonged state of calm, that ensues after performing a kind deed. Kind acts have also been shown to decrese stress, decrease manifestations of stress-related illnesses, improve emotional well-being, and even reduce physical pain!

So why aren’t more people jumping on the kindness bandwagon?

Well, as I investigated further, I learned that there is, in fact, an actual 501(c)3 foundation, established in 1995, that inspires people to practice kindness and to “pass it on” to others! The Random Acts of Kindness™ Foundation provides free educational and community ideas, guidance, and other resources through their website at www.actsofkindness.org.

They have compiled huge PDF documents with specific ideas on how you can spread kindness in your world. They have suggestions for individuals, groups, families, communities, and businesses, and even for specialized groups such as shut-ins, gardeners, cooks, etc.

With Thanksgiving approaching, the topic seemed quite relevant, and I thought I would share a few of their great ideas on how you can spread a little kindness this holiday season.

• Call loved ones just to say “I love you” or to tell them what you appreciate about them.
• Create or donate floral arrangements for a senior center, nursing home, police station, hospital, or the homebound.
• Smile and say “hello” to someone you don’t know.
• Call someone who doesn’t drive, and invite him or her out to lunch or a movie.
• Help someone struggling with heavy bags.
• Call or write to someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time, just to say you’re thinking about them.
• Ask your children to go through their toys and donate some of them to children who are less fortunate.
• Save coupons and send them to the commissary for military families to use overseas. They can use coupons expired up to six months.
• “Adopt” a family, child, or senior citizen and spend time with them.
• Call an animal shelter and find out what donations they need. Collect things like treats, food, first aid supplies, toys, cat litter, and blankets for the homeless animals.
• Visit a neighbor and help him or her prepare for the holidays.

These are just a few ideas, but I bet you can think of others. Your challenge this week is to perform at least one random act of kindness as you celebrate the holiday.

I bet it will make you feel great!

The server told me that they changed their recipe and now mix two sauces together.

Since the second sauce has ingredients I can’t eat (allergies), I asked him to give me plain pulled chicken instead. I then proceeded to pick up a bottle of Carolina BBQ sauce, and planned to mix it with the chicken at home.

No sooner had I put the sauce into my cart when he said, “since I’m pulling the chicken anyway, why don’t I mix up a special batch for you with just the Carolina BBQ sauce?” And he proceeded to make me my own fresh container of hand-pulled barbecue chicken!

He didn’t have to do that.

When I thanked him, he said with a smile, “No problem. Whenever you come in, if I’m here, I’ll make you a batch.” Wow.

One often hears that customer service has declined through the years, and is no longer an integral part of doing business. “The customer is always right” philosophy that once drove business owners has been replaced with a lingering societal complacency.

But thankfully, in a little smokehose kiosk of a big supermarket retailer is one young man who understands that a happy customer is the key to business success.

He definitely brightened my day.

And you know I’ll be buying more pulled chicken.