unfrown.com

Last week I decided to re-grout my bathroom. How hard can it be, right?

I started by doing some Internet research and watching how-to videos on You-Tube. Armed with my new-found knowledge, I headed to the local mega-hardware store to get supplies.

Unfortunately, the shelves were lined with products that looked nothing like what the guys in the YouTube videos used! I read label after label, and finally tracked down an employee to show me the unsanded grout. I explained that I’d be tiling a shower stall. He pulled a container of pre-mixed grout from the shelf, and sent me on my way.

When I got home, and began applying the grout, it appeared to be gritty. It wouldn’t squeeze into the tiny cracks between the tiles no matter how hard I tried. It slowly dawned on me that I had gotten sanded grout rather than unsanded (the package, strangely, was not labeled).

After realizing the project was not going as planned (and after noticing that part of my wall had a distinctly southwestern look to it), I began the tedious process of removing the sanded grout that I had just attempted to apply. It had dried quickly, so the process involved a lot of washing and scraping of gritty gunk into the bathtub. After rinsing the tub, a layer of brown sand remained.

The next day I returned to the hardware store and explained my problem to the clerk. She suggested I go find the correct product for an even exchange. After much label-reading, it became obvious that they didn’t carry pre-mixed unsanded grout. I’d have to mix my own. I grabbed a box of unsanded grout powder ($2 more expensive than my original purchase), and returned to the register.

I was surprised when the clerk said it would still be an even exchange! She noted, “We sold you the wrong thing in the first place. And honestly, you were the calmest I’ve ever seen anyone in this situation. Usually people come storming in here demanding to see a manager.”

Really?

I had been so impressed by how nicely she was treating me that I never stopped to think about why. It turns out that she was responding to how nice *I* was being. She had expected me to be upset, and was pleasantly surprised when I explained my messy evening with bemusement, rather than anger.

So, while I was a little disappointed that my bathroom did not get re-grouted last week, the process helped me re-learn a neat little lesson. People generally are good, and they want to help us out. If we treat them with kindness and respect, they will bend over backwards to help us succeed.

Just before Christmas, I traveled to North Carolina to attend a friend’s son’s Bar Mitzvah.

I actually lived in Durham in the late ’80s, and still have many friends there, so I padded my visit with a few planned reunions: with an old friend, with a former sister-in-law and family, and with a former co-worker.

It was a fabulous weekend on so many levels. With the adults, nothing had changed with respect to our connections and the ways we inter-related. It was like stepping back in time, except the hairs were a little grayer and the faces were more deeply lined. Because of the time lapse, none of the older children really remembered me, and the younger ones were meeting me for the first time.

Most of the kids acted as children do — hanging out with friends, reading, playing on the computer, and occasionally demanding their parents’ attention. But my former niece and nephew (who were a quite young when I last saw them, and knew me only from old pictures) sat quietly with us during my entire visit.

It made me feel quite special indeed that a teenager and an 11-year-old would take time out of their busy day to hang out with the “grown-ups.” When I mentioned it later, their mom noted that she suspected they were curious about their family history. I guess that makes sense, as I was married to their uncle for two years, and had visited the hospital when the eldest was born.

Even still — I was impressed by their manners. And I left there feeling really touched.

I had the pleasure of exchanging gifts with my nieces and nephew for Chanukah.

Prior to the holiday, they had attended a kids-only shopping event at their elementary school where they could purchase gifts for $1 and less.

On Chanukah, I gave them my gifts, which they opened with much appreciation and joy.  And they exchanged gifts amongst themselves and with me.

The youngest, my three-year-old nephew, was thrilled to open a new soccer ball and baseball glove.  But what made him shriek with glee?  My 11-year-old niece had given him a little suction cup critter.  The kind that’s on a spring so that when you push it together, the suction cup adheres to the base and gradually loosens, making the little plastic critter pop up and jump into the air. Josh abandoned all other gifts, and played with that plastic critter for quite some time – clapping and shrieking every time it popped and jumped.

And my favorite gift? My niece gave me a button with the word “joy” in white letters on a mauve background. She said she “thought it was my color,” but I suspect she also knew I’d love the sentiment.  I immediately pinned it to my backpack.

The other cool gifts I got from the kids included a lipstick case, a poem, a school photo, and a gumball-machine ring.  My five-year-old niece fell in love with the ring that her 8-year-old sister had given me, so we all agreed that she could have it.

Other gifts they exchanged amongst themselves included stick-on earrings, bookmarks, a lip gloss case, rings, and hand-made cards and drawings.  When the 5-year-old gave the 11-year old a ring inscribed “I love you,” she proudly proclaimed, “Because it’s true!”

In all, it was a fabulous Chanukah.  The kids each spent less than $5 on their holiday gifts this year, yet every purchase was well considered, and each gift was well received.

In this time of belt-tightening, it was nice to be reminded that sometimes a $1 gift can bring as much joy as a $50 gift.  I left there feeling like the richest aunt in the world.

I wish you all a holiday filled with love, laughter, peace, and many simple joys. 

Every time I go to the supermarket, people stop me to ask where I got my bags!

I am the proud owner of a colorful assortment of Chico Bags — in my opinion, the coolest and most useful of the eco-friendly bags available.

The bag is made of woven polyester and folds up into a small drawstring pouch that slips easily into a purse or glove compartment. When needed, it quickly unfolds to a full size grocery bag that can hold up to 25 pounds! Oh, and the pouch even has a small carabiner that can attach to a keychain, backpack, or belt loop!

While other reusable shopping bags are bulky and are not well suited for much other than grocery shopping, I carry my ChicoBags wherever I go. I have used them at the convenience store, the toy store, the craft store — virtually anywhere I purchase anything . And as I noted earlier, it never fails that someone will ask where I got my bags!

The bags that are pictured here are the original style ChicoBags. The company recently debuted the Vita style shoulder bag version, a larger bag that holds up to 40 lbs.

Not only are the bags colorful, practical, and environmentally responsible — but when they have passed their prime and are ready to be discarded, ChicoBag requests that they be returned — to be recycled unto beautiful woven rugs! Through a company called The Grateful Thread, the creation and sales of these rugs help provide job training opportunities to victims of domestic violence and others re-entering the work force.

ChicoBag is another company with a great product line, great service, and a strong commitment to making a difference.

Check them out. You’ll be the talk of your local supermarket!

Overheard in a shopping mall parking lot today:

Crying little boy, about four years old, proclaiming loudly: “I am NOT too cute for words!!!!”

This is a follow-up to yesterday’s post.

I went to buy a card for my nephew’s birthday at the local card shop, and overheard this exchange:

“Last night I tried to come by, but it looked like the power was out.”

“Yep. A raccoon got into the substation and managed to mess something up.”

“Oh my gosh — was he okay?”

“The raccoon was fine. But they had to turn off the power and call Animal Control. It took awhile for the Animal Control guys to get there, capture the raccoon, remove him from the substation and release him. They couldn’t turn the power back on until after he was safely out of the way.”

“Wow. Now that’s not something that happens everyday.”

Indeed.

Needless to say, I smiled. First, because I happened to be in that shop at the very time the conversation was taking place. Second, because the source of yesterday’s three-hour time-out was not some horrific accident as I had feared, but rather an adventurous wayward raccoon. Third, because said raccoon survived his little escapade, and lived to see another day.

There’s some kind of poetic justice in the fact that the cause of my reversion to “camping mode” was none other than a furry nocturnal creature who is more likely to be found in a campground than in the local substation. He had to plug in, so to speak, so that I (and my neighbors) could unplug.

Profound. Interesting. And, no matter how I look at it, still somewhat amusing.

This evening we lost power for three hours.

And I had no idea what to do with myself. It was the strangest thing. Since being laid off a couple months ago, I have spent many waking hours online designing and creating logos, editing photos, designing websites and communicating with friends and colleagues.

And suddenly, that world went dark.

All the things I had planned to do — finish email, work on a logo, clean up some photos, watch a little TV — were now out of the question.

Interestingly, an unexpected paradigm shift occurred as I left my office to find a flashlight. I switched over to “camping” mode — a more relaxed and contemplative version of myself. With flashlight in hand, I headed to the garage in search of a battery-operated camping lantern, then rummaged through drawers to find fresh batteries.

With lantern and batteries in hand, I stood outside the garage and pondered the dark and the quiet. It was undeniably serene and peaceful.

My next step was to figure out what to do with my evening. I could take the car and go somewhere or I could stay home and relax. I ultimately decided to head back inside and curl up under the covers with a book. I read for three glorious hours before the electricity came back on.

It’s fascinating how much we depend on power and technology in our lives today. I remember as a child when we lost power it was an exciting adventure. During one blizzard we had no electricity for an entire week, but I was excited that the whole family got to sleep in sleeping bags on the floor near the wood stove. We played games, did crafts, read, played in the snow, and took sponge baths with water heated one pot at a time.

Today, our world is dominated by computers, televisions, and microwave ovens, and we speed through life on overdrive. Until something forces us to stop.

Tonight, for me, that something was a three-hour power failure. It afforded me the opportunity to sit back, reflect, and relax; and I heard the message clearly.

Sometimes it’s important to unplug. Unplug from the noise and the clutter and the complexity: Read a book. Take a walk. Take a bubble bath. Do a craft project. Or indulge in whatever simple pleasure you enjoy.

It will help bring balance to your life. And you’ll feel refreshed and renewed by the time you do decide to plug back in.

Today I’d like to tell you about an unassuming chocolate shop in the DC metro area that makes some of the best gourmet chocolates anywhere on this planet.

I met Jason Andelman a few years ago after reading an article in the Washingtonian magazine about his new venture, Artisan Confections. He was then a young pastry chef who was making small batches of handcrafted chocolates and selling them through local gourmet food and wine shops.

By mid-December of that year, all of the shops had sold out, and I was desperate to purchase these gorgeous chocolates for family and friends. I called Jason, and he let me know that he had just made a fresh batch, and offered to meet me outside a local grocery store to complete the transaction.

I was eternally grateful. So we met. We spoke a bit, I learned a little about his venture, and he gained a loyal customer due to his willingness to go the extra mile.

In those early days, each chocolate was individually decorated with a miniature reproduction of a famous painting. They were almost too beautiful to eat. The chocolates themselves were constructed with the freshest and finest ingredients available; and each bite was pure delight.

Business grew, and it wasn’t long before Artisan Confections launched a website and opened a storefront in Arlington, VA. They added new flavors and items, and even began offering group and private classes in chocolate-making!

Their tagline is appropriately “where art is chocolate and chocolate is art;” and you can see some of their current designs here. They offer collections of 15 pieces for $25; 30 pieces for $46; and smaller boxes of nine or four pieces for $17 and $8, respectively.

I’m a big fan of supporting independent business owners, especially when they produce a superior quality product, and I’m definitely planning my annual visit to stock up on gifts before the holidays.

If you have a chocolate lover on your list who appreciates great quality (and great beauty!), Artisan Confections will definitely make them smile. Note that Jason’s website states that all holiday orders must be placed no later than December 22nd.

I called one of my best friends yesterday; it was the first time we had spoken in quite some time.

During the late ’80s, we lived in the same metropolitan area as we attended graduate school, and we struck up a strong friendship. Our lives were in synch as we reached various milestones together: we met our husbands; had our bridal showers; and got married. I helped coordinate her wedding and she was my matron of honor.

In the ensuing years, I moved five hours away and eventually got divorced. She settled comfortably into family life with a gorgeous home, two children, and a dog.

Needless to say, distance and circumstance pulled us apart, and our phone conversations and visits became less frequent before eventually stopping altogether.

It’s not that we planned on drifting apart. Or even gave it much thought. It just happened as other priorities took hold of our lives.

A few weeks back, I received an invitation to her oldest son’s bar mitzvah, which I accepted without hesitation.

Yesterday I decided to call her to finalize plans. It was so wonderful to hear her voice! Time melted away as we fell into comfortable conversation and tried to catch up on our respective life changes and family matters. As we spoke, it struck me how so many things had changed — but how nothing really had.

And that is the great thing about the connections we make as we travel through life. Friends truly are “the family we choose for ourselves.” When we connect with another human being, he or she becomes a crucial part of the fabric of our lives. And just as with family, the constructs of distance and time do not diminish the love we have for them in our hearts.

The upcoming holiday season is a great time to reconnect with old friends and extended family. Why not make the first move, pick up the phone and make the call? You’ll be happy you did.

Back on November 17th I shared with you the joys of shooting photographs through my kaleidoscope.

It has become an addiction of sorts. But, oh what a happy addiction!

On days when the morning sun shines brightly through my living room window, I place the camera on its tripod, position both kaleidoscope and camera within the beam of light, and start shooting. I’ve snapped the shutter well over a thousand times in the past few weeks, resulting in about 25-30 frames that were visually compelling enough to make the cut.

The cut for what? Well, after noodling a bit on how best to display the photos, I decided to create an oversized kaleidoscope wall calendar with some of the best shots. The images have been coupled with inspiring quotes to add another dimension to the project.

Having become quite attached to some of the individual photos, I also placed them on framed tiles and keepsake boxes, as well as throw pillows and a wide variety of holiday ornaments.

There are 18 ornaments available to date, and these are a few of my favorites:

As I mentioned previously, I’ve become quite enthralled by the colorful moving shapes in my kaleidoscope, and I’m even happier that I can now combine my love of color and light with my love of photography in a way that captures an ephemeral instance for all to share.

So what is your passion? What do you absolutely love to do?

Finding something that you are passionate about is a fabulous way to increase happiness. If you make the time to do something you enjoy, you nurture your soul and enrich your life. And when you’re happy, everyone around you is a little happier too.

As the holidays approach, make sure to carve out a little time just for yourself, to do something you truly enjoy.